Now that spring is upon us, I think it's worth spending a few moments
extolling the virtues of my gas grill. For years I resisted purchasing a
gas grill, believing that charcoal briquets produced the only true
grilling experience. I was wrong. Yes, charcoal gives you that smoky
flavor and helpful carcinogens, but propane is also wonderful and
exponentially easier. Not to mention the fun one can have with highly
pressurized gas. Last summer was my first with the grill and so it was
mostly a season of trial and error. Here's what I learned:

Some Foods I Like Grilled

Hamburgers
Hot Dogs
Steak
Mixed Veggies
Corn on the Cob

Some Foods I Don't Like Grilled

Sushi
Cereal (with milk)
Arugula Salad
Tomato Soup
Other Soups

One exception -- if you have a "griddle" attachment for your grill, it
is conceivable to barbecue soup. Also, known as a Soup-e-cue. The
griddle presents myriad grilling possibilities. Another favorite of mine
is the "Martini-cue". Which basically involves drinking about 18
martinis and then throwing up on the griddle.

Another thing I learned - just because you grill food doesn't make it
"vegetarian". This information forces me to radically rethink my
understanding of the word "vegetarian." I was under the impression that
it meant you couldn't eat meat unless it had been grilled, since
grilling is more humane. Evidently not. After creating what I thought
was a fantastic "Midsummer Night's Dream Feast" of burgers and
deer-sausage for all my hippie vegetarian friends, I was extremely
embarrassed to learn otherwise. Naturally they thought it was tofu. No.
The upside? If you've ever seen a bunch of really ticked-off hippie
vegetarians, you know just how funny that scenario was. Very.

Also, don't tease the cat by throwing her ball of yarn onto a lit grill.
The cat will not hesitate to jump onto the grill to play with it.